‘University of a Billion Chinese’ retires as UBC’s oldest joke

This article originally appeared on the Syrup Trap

VANCOUVER (The News Desk) — Following a brief ceremony and substandard coffee cake, the oldest joke at UBC has stepped down. “University of a Billion Chinese” has long claimed that it was “getting too old for this,” but the university administration was finally forced to take the joke seriously this winter when it suddenly refused to be uttered.

“One day, I was walking with my friend Amy through a large group of exchange students, and I turn to her and go, ‘I guess I can see why they call it the—’, then I just vomited all over my own body,” explains fourth-year student Alexandra DeMont.

Similar occurrences have been reported all over campus over the past months, and university officials were finally forced to concede that the joke had become old, lame and racist, as is inevitable among anyone who remains at a university for too long.

Furthermore, the joke clashes with the school’s stated goal of attracting a new wave of international students in the coming years.

Alternative jokes are being considered. Among the frontrunners are: University of Building Construction, University of Booze and Cannabis, and U Bring Cash. ♦

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